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Wednesday, February 11, 2026

COLUMN: Leading with Character: Lessons for Living Well

It’s mid-summer and many people are on vacation or taking a break, hopefully practicing the “three R’s” of rest, relaxation, and recreation! So, this blog will be light and easy to match that mood.  

Last week I met a good friend and colleague for breakfast. He shared that he recently lost his father, Russell, at age 90. I could see my friend venerated his dad and still looked to him as a role model. So, I and asked him to tell me a little bit about the man he admired so much.   

Through my friend’s storytelling, I learned more than I had expected—not only about Russell, but about the art of living well. Like many of his generation, Russell lived by good old, traditional, core values. He taught his children those values and raised them well. He worked hard and persevered to achieve his goals. He took full responsibility for his actions and outcomes. He never complained. He was a wise man of exceptional character who gave more than he took.  

My friend shared with me his father’s secret to living well. In its brevity, it’s more profound than would be a book dedicated to the topic. Here it is in just 13 simple words that need no explanation—I offer them for your interpretation:  

Life’s not fair
No one owes you anything
Don’t rest on your laurels  

Look in the mirror: What do those words mean to you and how can they help make you a better person and leader of character?  

Please join me again next time for more on Leading with Character.  

If you enjoyed this post, please visit my website where you can buy my book, Breaking Ice & Breaking Glass: Leading in Uncharted Waters, and sign up for my mailing list:https://sandrastosz.com/book/breaking-ice-and-breaking-glass/ 

Vice Admiral Stosz, a Homeland Security Today editorial board member, started out in the U.S. Coast Guard as an ensign serving on polar icebreakers, conducting national security missions from the Arctic to the Antarctic. Her 40-year career is filled with leadership lessons gleaned while breaking ice and breaking glass as the first woman to command an icebreaker on the Great Lakes and to lead a U.S. armed forces service academy. She finished her career as the first woman assigned as Deputy Commandant for Mission Support, directing one of the Coast Guard’s largest enterprises. She has lectured widely on leadership, and has been featured on CSPAN and other media outlets. In 2012, Newsweek’s “The Daily Beast” named Vice Admiral Stosz to their list of 150 Women who Shake the World. Proceeds from “Breaking Ice and Breaking Glass: Leading in Uncharted Waters” will be donated to the US Coast Guard Academy James M. Loy Institute for Leadership.

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