This summer, I had the opportunity to spend a couple of delightful weeks vacationing in wild, wonderful, Maine. I love getting away from the daily routine and immersing myself in nature. It’s the perfect opportunity for growth through self-reflection. During a morning walk that took me up and down rolling hills through woodlands and past farms, I found myself contemplating who I am. Here and now—at this stage of my life. Which led me to consider who I want to be moving forward.
A Journey of Self-Discovery
I thought back to the Coast Guard’s leadership framework. The first element is “leading self.” That’s the element the Coast Guard teaches new members in their accession training programs. Makes sense. Before they’re ready to lead others, young people need to first know themselves—to understand their personality type, strengths and weaknesses, personal core values, what motivates them, and more. Yet a leader is never too old, too experienced, or too good to become even better by continuing their journey of self-discovery. It should be a lifetime endeavor. And why not? As things change around us, we must learn to anticipate, adapt, adjust, and be agile. And that means being in tune with who we are so we can, in turn, be prepared to do what’s right when the next challenge or opportunity arises.
What Defines You?
Labor Day marks the end of the summer reprieve. By now, everyone is back to school, work, or their routine. Hopefully refreshed, relaxed, and renewed. For anyone interested in self-improvement, now is an excellent time to reevaluate who you are: what defines you.
Recently, I was conversing with a colleague who underwent a multiple organ transplant. What a moving story! I admire her grit. Now, she gives back through speaking and advocacy. I was struck when she remarked about her experience, “It influences who I am, but it doesn’t define me.” What a powerful statement! I instantly thought to myself, “this is why she has survived and thrived—she refuses to let her condition define her. That positive attitude seems in sharp contrast to prevailing societal expectations that seem to prefer defining people by what they do, what they look like, their experiences, their achievements, instead of who they are.
Who I Am is Not What I Am
When I look at another person, I try to see them for who they are—for their character and core values. I believe your core values influence how you act, how you act defines your character, and your character determines the kind of leader you’ll be.
It’s the same way I examine myself. Who I am is not what I am. What I am is, in part, a woman of faith who served a career in the US Coast Guard, married, and retired. But I hope others see me not only as an admiral just because it’s an executive position, but more importantly as a leader of character with the core values of hard work, perseverance, honesty, and humility. That’s what’s most important. Who you are, and how you act, transcends what you are or what you were.
Pondering this blog has inspired me to resist falling for one of my biggest weaknesses—the failure to believe in myself. At this stage of my life, over six years after retiring from the US Coast Guard, I don’t need to contemplate who I want to be. That’s immutable; it doesn’t change with time and circumstances. I’m comfortable with who I am. Now, I must reach out and explore what I want to do, experience, and achieve…what I want to become.
Look in the mirror: Have you done the self-reflection to understand who you are, and what you want to become?
Please join me again next week for more on Leading with Character.
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