“I felt like my soul was being ripped out of my body,” Brandon Guffey said when describing the death of his son. No parent should ever have to say those words. Families like the Guffeys, the DeMays, and the Woods know the unimaginable pain of losing a child to online scams, sextortion, and cyber-enabled exploitation. Online scams, harassment, sextortion, and fraud are growing every year. Statistics are high, but they don’t tell the full story. Every story represents a real child, a real family, and a lesson we must learn. That lesson is clear: teaching digital street smarts is as important as teaching children to look both ways before they cross the street.
Research from the Pew Research Center shows that 95 percent of teenagers in the United States have access to a smartphone, and nearly half say they are online almost constantly. Social media, by design, is so embedded in daily life that parents cannot simply take it away without further isolating their children. When usage is unavoidable, safeguards and restrictions become essential. Yet, on most social media platforms, such safeguards are nonexistent or inconsistent at best. Annie McGrath, mother of Griffin McGrath, said: “Not a single social media regulation has been passed in 25 years. It is inexcusable and unconscionable, period.”
The volume of lawsuits against social media companies reflects the harm these platforms can cause younger users. Social media uses addictive algorithms and targeted advertising designed to maximize engagement, while wielding significant lobbying power to avoid accountability. This is not a new tactic, as industries from slot machines to tobacco to opioids have used similar strategies. Society often underestimates harm due to misleading information from the industries themselves.
Currently, Washington debates competing online safety proposals. Many parents who have lost children believe Big Tech is pushing the Kids Act, legislation that benefits the companies while weakening accountability. This mirrors historical patterns: tobacco companies spent decades lobbying lawmakers and casting doubt on the harms of smoking, while millions were harmed before meaningful accountability arrived. The question is: how many more families will suffer before lawmakers finally act?
The most targeted demographic for cybercrime and cyber-enabled fraud is teens and young adults. Social media is the primary contact point for cybercriminals. Younger users spend far more time online, making them prime targets.
I have witnessed firsthand how quickly an online conversation can turn into fraud, extortion, or exploitation. A college-aged young man I spoke with became a victim of sextortion. He felt hopeless and completely alone, too afraid to tell his parents or friends, dangerously close to taking his own life. I was the only person he had spoken to because I reached out. Thankfully, he is doing well now. This highlights the very real link between online exploitation and teen and young adult suicide. Dr. Scott Hadland, chief of adolescent medicine at Mass General Hospital, explains: “Teen brains are still developing. When something catastrophic happens, such as a personal picture being released or threatened, it is hard for them to see that they can get through it.” We cannot treat kids like adults.
Parents who have lost children speak with heartbreaking clarity.
John DeMay, father of Jordan DeMay, stated: “Our son was murdered through Instagram while we were all sleeping at night. We had zero chance to stop it.”
“He died terrified, scared, and ashamed,” said Morgan Moore about her son Caleb’s sextortion situation.
Mary Rodee, mother of Riley, said: “As a mom, I do not want a single other parent in this world to experience what I do every day.”
Their point is clear and urgent: talk to your children about digital risks before they encounter them.
You do not need to be a cybersecurity expert. Start with honesty. It is ok to admit you do not know everything about the digital world, but acknowledge that online threats are real and will eventually target your family.
Familiarize yourself with common scams, including fake profiles, employment scams, sextortion, romance scams, and financial fraud. Then, begin an ongoing, open conversation with your family.
In that conversation, red flag warning signs include: unsolicited contact from someone unknown, pressure to act quickly, offers that seem too good to be true, requests for unusual payment methods such as gift cards or cryptocurrency, and subtle grammar or phrasing issues.
Explain emotional manipulation. Scammers target emotions that override critical thinking, including fear, panic, guilt, shame, love, lust, greed, excitement, embarrassment, humiliation, and isolation.
Develop a family password to defeat AI that would pose as a family member. AI can imitate a dad’s voice, but would not know the answer to the family password.
Avoid ultimatum language. While well-intentioned, statements like “Don’t you ever!” without follow-up can leave children feeling isolated when they make a mistake. Mistakes and impulsive behavior are common in younger people. Timothy Woods, father of James Woods, urges youth not to suffer in silence: “No matter how embarrassing things are, you can always go to someone.” Use language that conveys seriousness while reassuring your children that they can always come to you. With open communication, parents can check in regularly, keeping the conversation ongoing.
A practical tactic to teach children is Stop-Question-Confirm:
Stop — pause and think, taking a moment to remove emotion and regain clarity.
Question — evaluate the situation and the information, not the criminal. Verify profiles, run reverse image searches, check phone numbers, use AI, Google, or ask trusted friends, family, or authorities.
Confirm — verify independently through trusted sources, not through information provided by the scammer. Contact the bank, family member, or law enforcement directly.
A parent’s role is to protect their children and equip them with the skills to navigate life safely. In today’s digital world, that means ensuring they are prepared for the risks they will inevitably face online. Teaching digital street smarts is as vital as teaching children to look both ways before crossing the street. Honest, ongoing conversations equip your kids with the awareness and life skills to recognize scams, manipulation, and exploitation. Don’t leave their safety to chance. Talk to your children about online risks before they encounter them.
